


Grow As We Go

by bookishamessantiago



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24269236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookishamessantiago/pseuds/bookishamessantiago
Summary: Writer’s noteHi ! So basically this is the first time I'm posting on a03 and since I've always been writing on Wattpad, i’m really nervous hehehehe, okay but anyways I once promised my twitter friends to post one of my fics on here and so here’s a chapter of mine :> I could really use some feedback so feel free to comment here/ dm me on twitter @bookishamess about the chapter :> okay this seems a bit much for a writer’s note let’s start shall we???
Relationships: Jake Peralta & Amy Santiago
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	Grow As We Go

**Author's Note:**

> Writer’s note  
> Hi ! So basically this is the first time I'm posting on a03 and since I've always been writing on Wattpad, i’m really nervous hehehehe, okay but anyways I once promised my twitter friends to post one of my fics on here and so here’s a chapter of mine :> I could really use some feedback so feel free to comment here/ dm me on twitter @bookishamess about the chapter :> okay this seems a bit much for a writer’s note let’s start shall we???

It was just one of those lazy weekends where you could just do simply anything. To Jake and Amy however, it was the first lazy weekend since they stopped trying. Sure, they did decide to leave it at the very back of their minds, and it was indeed very fast since work has again taken its toll on them, and the both of them hadn't talked about it since.

Now, there are two sides of a sofa, on the left side, we have Amy, who is furiously typing, wait no, banging on her keyboard, glasses hanging askew as she typed without a care in the world. Meanwhile, on the right side, we have Jake, who was reading Game of Thrones since Amy had convinced him that the books are far more interesting than the tv shows, but what really motivated him to read is that Game of Thrones had written every single detail so intricately, and by 'every single detail', well it'll be better if you read to see it for yourself. 

Anyways, both of them were so involved in their entertainment that they both jumped at the same time when the phone rang. "I'll get it. I need a stretch anyways." Amy closed her laptop and pretending to be serious, she went hunting for the phone by its Die Hard themed ringtone, she wandered high and low for it, and their apartment wasn't even that large. "Gosh, where are you," Amy muttered to herself as the ringtone blared its theme song out loud, but little did she know what was on the other side. 

Amy was searching for it until she came across the pregnancy war room, and as if someone heard her, a memory slowly flashed upon her mind as her surroundings went into a haze. She continued to venture inside the room. Suddenly, the ringtone stopped. But the room didn't. She looked at the two schedules drawn on two whiteboards, each time slot filled with detailed, tailor-made activities as well as vitamins to take to have a higher chance of conceiving. It wasn't until now realization dawned on her how much she forced both of them to go through the past six months. Her gaze soon shifted to the chair next to the board, where on top laid Jake's baggy trousers that she made him wear every time before they started trying. She made this. She unleashed her madness and what’s worse, she even made her poor husband suffer along with her. She looked at the pants and the inside of her cringed so hard she thought she was going to be sick. What was she even thinking back then? Wasn't she supposed to forget about this a long time ago, to move on? Jake did, shouldn't she do the same? But this feeling, it was like a drag in the mud, a pit in her stomach that churned and pained her whenever it was mentioned, a disgusting word her parents used to shout at her so much that she had sworn to life that if she ever had that word thrown at her again, she would slit their throats and let them burn slowly until they begged her for mercy. She couldn't bring herself to say it, it was just too painful. But inside her, she knew so clearly what it was, it was the definition of her every time she failed.

"humiliating." She whispered so softly that it was only audible to her ears. 

"humiliating," she repeated as she could feel the tears coming to her eyes. 

"humiliate-" 

"Ames." 

Someone was calling her.

Jake was calling her.

She felt the familiar scent of Jake as he steadied her from behind. She wanted to say something, but finally, tiredness just got the best of her and the last thing she could remember is falling into the sanctuary of Jake's arms as everything descended into darkness. 

"Mm," Amy grunted as she tried to sit herself up, only to find Jake worriedly helping her up. "Ames, it's alright, you just fainted that's all." He continuously stroked her hair for a few minutes as if he was thinking about something, and he finally brought himself to look into her eyes. "What happened?" Amy took a deep breath and looked at the floor, "I'm sorry I just can't get over at it as fast as you could." She croaked as she broke into a tiny sob. "Shhh, shh, shh, it's fine, we've been so cooped up with work lately we haven't given ourselves much time to talk about it, let alone think." Jake let a little smile escape from the corner of his mouth as he let her snuggle into the crook of his neck. Amy attempted to open her mouth and speak, but every time she was about to, tears just blurred her vision and her tongue would be tangled in knots. They sat there in silence until Amy finally let go of Jake's hand. Shifting her position, she looked at him with bloodshot eyes and a sad smile, which Jake hated seeing her in such a helpless state. "I will get over it eventually, but it's been hard as the words failure and humiliation keeps going off in my head whenever I'm alone with my thoughts." Jake was about to speak again when she shushed him. "I love you, but we need to have one of those serious conversations we discussed on our anniversary. I know it hurts, but we can't just repress it." To her surprise, Jake's face melted to the softest smile and gazed lovingly at Amy. “Yes. Yes, definitely. I would love one of those conversations please.” 

"I love you.”

"I love you to the moon and back.”

And with two massive bowls of ice cream, they talked about it for a whole day, along with a million other things that the both of them would never thought they would be willing to break it to each other. At the end of the day, as Amy closed her eyes, the war room once again appeared before her, but she wasn't humiliated, because it was just part of the journey, and as someone said just a year and a half ago, 

"Life is unpredictable. Not everything’s in our control. But as long you're with the right people, you can handle anything.”

But there was something after it that she often forgot, and from now on, she swears she would never let it slip her mind. 

"And you, Jake Peralta, are the right person for me."


End file.
